After consulting with my beloved, I have decided to shift my writing ever so slightly in order to appeal to the female audience. Taking into account the sorts of “literature” that today’s discriminating broad/dame finds appealing, beginning tomorrow in the now open posting spot will be an erotic story of lust, passion, and squishy things. Yes, for all of you veteran dungeon crawlers, it is now time to savor… Fifty Shades of Pudding.

Puddings. They replicate via fission. They devour metal, wood (giggity), and yes, even leather (sensual shudder). Attacking them only causes them to split in two, making them more of a threat. With an intelligence somewhere around that of an artichoke or coffee table, they are surprisingly active on Twitter, and attack everything that moves towards them. What woman hasn’t wondered about the sinister motivations of that slimy ooze working it’s way up her ankle? Ok, that escalated quickly.

So far, I only have one chapter. There isn’t a lot of playful banter one can employ with a pudding, and after it devoured the piano, I wasn’t sure where to go next. I don’t think this is particularly sexy, but then again, I’m new to this.