Ruling Slothjemia is no easy task. A medieval society on the brink of enlightenment, far advanced in some measures from those around it, and with a large population of energetic peoples eager to make their mark in the world. Harnessing all of that energy and keeping it focused for the good of the nation would … Continue reading Royal Bureaucratic Council
Month: July 2017
You Say “Draconian” Like it is a Bad Thing
Unlike the modern age of western civilization, how criminals are dealt with in Slothjemia, and for that matter, anywhere in the world in which it is set, will seem completely primitive. While the policing is closer to what we can identify with in the near-modern world, the judiciary is something else entirely. After a criminal … Continue reading You Say “Draconian” Like it is a Bad Thing
The Wicked Intrusion of Reality
Nothing ruins a good time quite like the realization that in order to pay rent, utilities, and a growing Taco Bell habit, one must function as a "normal person" and work at whatever job one finds themselves in. Churning out endless pages of nerd fiction and waxing poetic on the virtues of pixie society in … Continue reading The Wicked Intrusion of Reality
Slothenburg Confidential; Chapter 3
Luckily the rest of Thigpen's patrol went uninterrupted. He did however spend more time on his undercity beat than he normally did. There were people lingering about where the body was found for the rest of the day, and everyone on his beat wanted to know what had happened. Thigpen told them all the same thing. … Continue reading Slothenburg Confidential; Chapter 3
Spiked Gauntlet; now available in women’s sizes
Reichsha, the Queen of Slothjemia (a.k.a Empress of the Slothjemian Empire, Countess of Boardhum Keep, and Defender of Quality Ciders), is the first female ruler of her nation to date. There was one woman eligible for the role, long, long ago; but she was outmaneuvered by her cagey younger brother and tucked away out of … Continue reading Spiked Gauntlet; now available in women’s sizes
An Orc for All Seasons; Chapter 6
The Lord Cleaver is a position of immense power in Slothjemia, and is the person who registers and monitors mercenary and paramilitary organizations. Mercenaries have always been a thriving profession in Slothjemia, selling their services to other states, creating a thriving economy on the one thing that Slothjemians do well; fighting. The office of the … Continue reading An Orc for All Seasons; Chapter 6
Blow that Bugle Again, and You’ll be Walking Funny for a Month
Hunts in civilized lands are formal, majestic activities that hinge as much on ceremony as they do on actually hunting the designated prey. Often times, depending on the quarry, the outcome is predetermined. In fact, the hapless animal being hunted can be planted in a designated place, or released so that the "hunters" have something … Continue reading Blow that Bugle Again, and You’ll be Walking Funny for a Month
If Perry Mason had Tusks
One of the things that readers might be wondering is, exactly how much trouble is this Grundoon person in for having killed a junior officer? What are the penalties for murder in the ranks of the Slothjemian military? The answer, of course, depends on who committed the crime, and who the victim was. More accurately, … Continue reading If Perry Mason had Tusks
Know Your Neighbors: The Underdark
Something of a "catch-all" phrase for the many races that live deep in the earth, the underdark includes all kinds of subterranean dwellers. Drow (or dark) elves, duergar (gray dwarves), svirfneblin (deep gnomes), illithid (mind flayers), and even some goblinoid peoples. As a general rule, the further down you go in the caverns and chasms, … Continue reading Know Your Neighbors: The Underdark
Slothenburg Confidential; Chapter 2
Thigpen pulled the whistle out from the neck of his tunic and gave it a loud, shrill blast. He followed that with three short bursts, and waited. If anyone was around they would have heard the whistles, it was so eerily quiet here. Thigpen held the lantern up and looked around. He thought he saw … Continue reading Slothenburg Confidential; Chapter 2
Slothjemian Tales 
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