The town of Resurrection has welcomed into its fold a new citizen, a young woman named Khloe who has been offered a job at the Ugly Duckling tavern. In a small party hastily organized to welcome the lass into life as a Maelonbourger, the town’s resident silver-tongued devil, Gustav “Gus” Grosserhund had this to say:

“Tonight we welcome to our family this once persecuted young woman, Khloe. Recently arrived from the loathsome land of Lotharingia she has agreed to take a job at one of our lovely taverns here in Resurrection. When we first met her she was being heralded as a witch. Clearly this isn’t the case. By making her a monster our enemies would have us fear her and shirk our moral obligation to free her from an unjust captivity. But they misjudged us, my friends. We are Maelonbourgers. We are all monsters here!

One of our very own baronesses did no less than summon a lich to help bring our druid priestess back from the dead. This same baroness later murdered a woman in the streets of Trésor. We have a drider living in the basement complex of one of our businesses. There is a swamp orc working as a guard for the import company, and everyone knows that our resident kobold pretty much runs the day-to-day operations of the county. A half-orc now has control over the second largest settlement in the county, and in her little army is a plethora of goblinoids. And the good Lord only knows the backstory for the rest of us.

This is not a community that will shrink away from a threat. Nor will we be intimidated with something as mundane as a witch! We interact daily with more potentially dangerous folk! If you want us to keep away and mind our own business you’ll need to concoct a far more compelling story. We who live in the shadow of a lich and in the presence of widely renowned warriors and ruffians are not as easy to dissuade as the unimaginative provincial folk that you might be accustomed to. We are monsters!”

To this Gus was met with thunderous applause. Maelonbourgers are indeed a curious people.