We Have Rules for this, People!

If you are expecting to be called upon to attend a Royal Reception in the Court of Queen Reichsha, there are some basic ground rules that you must adhere to. There are good reasons for all of these rules and while they might not seem self evident at first glance be assured that they exist and will be enforced.

  1. Starting off on the right or left foot first makes no difference. Just keep your head up and move at a steady pace.
  2. No dancing.
  3. No cavorting.
  4. Absolutely no sashaying.
  5. No gymnastics of any kind
  6. No grandstanding.
  7. No fist-pumping.
  8. Do not spit or vomit in the presence of the Queen.
  9. No talking unless you are answering a question or replying to somebody that is directly addressing you. Speak in the tone at which you are being spoken to; whisper to whisper, bold to bold.
  10. No weapons other than a dagger are permitted in the throne room.
  11. Do not cross over the gold rod laying on the floor unless specifically told to do so by the Queen.
  12. Do not kneel.
  13. Do not sit.
  14. Do not squat.
  15. Do not fidget.
  16. Do not stare at the illithid.
  17. Avoid flatulence.
  18. You may leave only after all awards and commendations have been bestowed once the fanfare begins anew.
  19. No dawdling.
  20. No pelvic thrusts.
  21. No sexually enticing winks to attractive people in the gallery.
  22. No singing.
  23. You may acknowledge the gathered masses with a smile, a nod, or a wave. You may even combine these elements. However, you are not permitted to bare any part of your body nor flap it at anybody either as a boast, a threat, or a celebratory gesture.
  24. Try not to pass out, faint, or die from being overwhelmed.

As much difficulty as this is to follow one must still do their level best to keep the rules in mind. Perhaps even more importantly one should avoid doing something uniquely idiotic to necessitate there being yet another rule for everyone that goes through this after you.